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New Stimulus payment - Printable Version

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- dmano - 01-28-2009

Subj: [b] Stimulus Payment Info.[/b]



 


[b]Subject: Stimulus Payment Info. [/b]
[b][b] 
[/b]
[b]"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? [/b]
[b]A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]Q. Where will the government get this money? [/b]
[b]A. From taxpayers. [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? [/b]
[b]A. Only a smidgen.  [/b]

[b]Q. What is the purpose of this payment? [/b]
[b]A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? [/b]
[b]A. Shut up. [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: [/b]
[/b]






 

[b]If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . [/b]
[b][b]If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. 
[/b]
[b]If you purchase a computer it will go to India .  [/b]
[b]If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and  Guatemala (unless you buy organic). [/b]
[b]If you buy a car it will go to Japan . [/b]
[b]If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan . [/b]
[b] [/b]
[b]And none of it will help the American economy. [/b]
[/b]


[b]We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.[/b]