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+--- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=1998)
- JoeP - 01-15-2010
I just received the following Summit Point joke:
____________________________________
TAKE MY ASS TO JAIL
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket.
He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. Lee, a drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'
- George3 - 01-17-2010
The World's Shortest Books:[/b]
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
____________________________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
THE SEQUEL
by Bill Clinton
___________________________________
TO ALL THE MEN WE'VE LOVED BEFORE...
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
_________________________________
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
______________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________
A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian
__________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLER(S)
by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy
______________________
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
*******************************************************
AND JUST ADDED:
COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF MILITARY STRATEGY!
by Nancy Pelosi
- Larry Herman - 01-20-2010
Ohh, you forgot this one:
INTEGRITY
by Dick Cheney
- ccm911 - 01-20-2010
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Interesting....three folks who have actually taken advantage of our country's freedom of speech to voice their opinions, and they get slammed per the above. Oh, I forgot, you are only afforded the opportunity for free speech so long as you don't go against the grain. Is this Communist era Russia, where we can only say things which are in agreement with the masses and the government? Seems that way to me. These three should be honored for being true American's yet society doesn't see it that way. So sad.
- Larry Herman - 01-20-2010
Chris, that is one point where I completely agree with you.