NASCAR Rant

[catchacab]

The instructor goes over hand signals, for more gas, less gas, kill the engine, and turning.  No chatterboxes!!!  Five of us are to be on the track at once, passing is allowed with a signal.  Shift at 4000 RPM, don't exceed 4000 RPM in 4th gear and once you get in 4th, keep it there.  The car will steer itself through the corners, you will have to pull the car to the wall exiting the corners.  We are going to do 10 laps now and then another 10 later.  Window nets are clicked in. 

Green flag given to me, I let the clutch out... stall.  SH--!,  I look like a moron, clutch in hit the ignition, clutch out, out of the pits into 4th gear 4000 RPM, lift slightly going into the corners, steer the car towards the wall coming out of the corner, is this guy nuts, he is going to get me killed, what is his name Jeb? We are going at 90mph at 4000 RPM, follow the line (markers are on the track), man this car is loud, I can't hear my self think.  Yeah, he was right I do have to steer the car to the wall on the exit of the corners.  The car does drive itself in the corners, this is fun but hard.  On lap 7 I catch up to the guy in front of me and he gives a signal to pass him.  I put the hammer down, but this baby doesn't have much torque at 4K, I'll get him after the next corner, going for the pass, hey, do I have enough room to get around him?  How do these NASCAR guys go 3 wide here?  How do they put 43 cars on this track at once?  I am going to crash!!! No, I don't but I do get around him.  A couple more laps, the checker is out. turn off power, coast in, these brakes can't stop a Beetle.

We debrief  (or at least take off our fire suits and helmets)  under a canopy in the pits.  Those 10 laps where hard.  I am sweating like a pig.  Another group goes out, we will have about 45 minutes until we are out on the track again.  

The guy I passed is from New York, he is there with his girlfriend.  Nice guy.  Then Billybob, Billyray, Bobbyjoe, Cletus and Cletus's son Billybobbyjoeray strike up a conversation with us.  Why are you northRNRRRS here? How many races you go to? Who is your driver? Ford or Chevy? WWF or WCW? We have been saving up for a year to do this.  You drive that Kraut car?  They are going to lynch me!  Which one is the Grand Wizard? Their pick ups did have shotgun racks in them. After this is over they are going to wait for me by the exit of the track, run me off the road and hang my northern Jew arse from the nearest tree! I could feel their dislike for northerners, let alone city slickers, jews, and anyone with more than an eight grade education.

The head guy comes to the canopy and asks, who is the guy signed up for 50 laps? I alone raise my hand.

We go out for another 10 laps, don't go over 5000RPM on the straights, 4000RPM in the corners max, no instructor.  I make a couple passes, I get passed a few times, then HOLY --IT, I just got passed like I was standing still.  Who the f--- was that?  The Checker is out.

Debriefing time.  Who Sh-- in their pants by that fast car? We all raise our hands.  It was the chief instructor.  We just wanted you to see how fast these cars can go.

All the other attendees leave, and I have 30 more laps to go. I am tired, I only got 2 hours of sleep and I am driving a race car.  My mind tells me this is not a good thing, and it is hot, air temp is already past 90, and it is as sticky as Concourse Chris's armpit after an all day waxing session (sorry, I just had to mention him here.  He is just beating Bob up too much).   I get to go out for lunch, McD's is the only place to eat that I am not afraid to go into.  Be back in an hour.

I drive 2 more 15 lap sessions on the track generally alone, but with an occasional visit by one of the instructors, providing hotlaps.  They have spotters (the other instructors)  around the track and when I get in, they gave me feedback about my drive.

I get back to my hotel at about 6pm.  I ask the front desk lady, where can I find a place to eat.  She tells me McD 's is a mile away, but if I want fancy, there is a Wendy's about 5 miles up the road.   Well, I am a fancy guy so off to Wendy's.  On the way I pass a food store.  It is a small wooden building with a piece of plywood on the roof with the words food store that looks like it was painted by a 1st grader.    I find Wendy's eat and go back to my hotel.

As I am lying in bed, I can believe how just being one hour outside of Atlanta can be so different from Atlanta itself. I think about the the people I met today, but most of all, how fun it is to drive on a race track.

Would I do a school like this again?  YES!!!