Car Humor

[Brian Minkin]

Gates vs.  GM

For  all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers  have enhanced our lives, read on.

 At  a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
 computer  industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If  GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we 
would all be  driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In  response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:

If  GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving 
cars with  the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1.  For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a  day.

2.  Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to 
buy a  new  car.

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You 
would have  to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off 
the car,  restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For 
some reason  you would simply accept this.

4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause 
your car to  shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the  engine.

5.  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five  times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent  of the roads.

6.  The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all 
be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" 
warning light.

I  love the next one!!!

7.  The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out 
and refuse  to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, 
turned the key  and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn 
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the 
same manner as the old car.

10.  You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.